The language in this makes me cringe, but it is genuinely funny.
http://dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=84
Lissen, you knows I use my blender for flowers. Why wood you be sprised that i hammer fings wiff my camera? I'm not hard to please - if you bring munny.
Ha haaaaaaaaaaa, muny, wots muny when you got friends and i iz your friend ain't I ! :O)
True, butchoo sed you is tryin' to IMPRESS me. Munny impresses me much faster than friendship.
Ill print some for you an post it over, good stuff it is, and at a cheap exchange rate at the mo, $10 for $5 bargain init :O)
Some folks juss miss the point, don't they?
Oh Dezzie i try and try and you just shoot me down in flames, juss no pleasing some people :O(
Mikey, I am ALWAYS pleased to shoot you down in flames. How can you say that?!
I know you likes me really, i can tell because you only maimed me with the pointy stick dinya :O)
Maybe. But you does move like greased lightning. It's that flippin' goose fat, izzent it?
Just rub me belly,,,Can yoo feel juss how soft an smoove it is,,,Goose fat baby gurl, keeps me lookin yung and slick ........... Now you wont some dunya :O)
You're not goin' to beleeve this, but no. Not at all. Not even a skerrick, morsel or little bit. Now if you're goin' to run around naked, I'm callin' yor Ma.
Cant have you seeing too much of a good thing now dezzie, juss pass me me boxers, thats the ones there stuck to the door :O)
No-o-o-o! I can't touch those! I yam a single woman! It's juss not seemly!
Go on, there cleanish sort of, i wash my pants at least once a month :O)
That often? That pair?
Yes Ma always sez keep um clean, you never know when you could get run over by a bus and end up in hosspisstal , so my personal highjean is to a very high Standhard :O)
I knowed you woz posh, but I had no idea just how posh you really is, Mikey. I am not worthy...
But you is, you is a gud friend, you always has time to talk to me even though most the time its insults i dont mind this as sometimes your hinsults is quite funny, Friend :O)
Well, they are very poor hinsults, aren't they, if alls you can do is larf. I yam a failure...
But i is used to um had um all the thymes off me Ma bless her, look at her sat there in her little cage, Tell you Dezzie i got bad stomach in me belly headache and me teeth are itching today :O(
I hope it's just a short bug, Mikey. It's no fun to be sick. You look after yourself. If anything is going to hurt you, it has to be me.
Thank you Dezzie i iz feeling munch better now, must have been a bug like you said :O)
Or the demon drink. It wazzent the demon drink, wazzit, Mikey? Say it ain't so!
Dezzie, i haven't had a drink in 8 months, I have stopped drinking Coffee and tea now i just drink juice or water, i think the coffee was giving me bad headaches so i only very rarely have a tea now and NO alcohol at all :O)