The language in this makes me cringe, but it is genuinely funny.
http://dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=84
I always tell the troof Dezzie you knows that, never have i told you a lye,,,,,,because lier's have to have gud memories and mine crap.. and thats as troo as im skydiving here now!!!
And I'm down here waiting to catch you! What a co-inkydence!
Humm.......
Donchoo know the words?
Corse i does but if i sing um you'll say you wrote it an yoo didn't cuz i did!
Wozzentchoo. Woz Helton John. Tsk!
Wozzent, woz me as i am a artist'e :O)
Camberas don' writes mewsick.
Oh i dont right it,, i hums it,,real gud though,,wood yew like me to hum you a note or two??? i wont charge you cuz yew iz me friend a bit today :O)
Iffitz free, I will lissen, butchoo hafta stop wen I puts my fingers in yer eyes an' screams "SHUT UP!!!", hokay?
Hokay then hear go's hum hummm hum hum ahh ahh humm hummmmm, ah ah hummm hum ah humm humm hummm hummmmm, Ahhhhh hummmm hum hum hum , ahhh hum humm hummm ah hummmmmmmmmmmmm... Amazed arn't yoo hey!! I know i,m amazing inhigh ...go on say something!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! go on anything !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dezzie??? Dezzie say something!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Elton John.
Candle hin the wind, see told ya high woz reely good at humming tunes,,, you ava go now sea hiff yoo can do betterer :O)
Could have sworn it was 'when a child is born' but I've noticed that I put a Hummm in where it should have been a ah ah. Think there should have been a tum ti tum bit as well but what do I know? Tone deaf, me.
Yore bofe barkin' mad. Han yoo carnt sing for nuts.
I has taken my fingers outa my ears now. I wood be grateful iff yoo wood not humm enny moore or sing or make ennyfing muzikal, pleeze. I yam of a sensitive nachore an I mussent be hupset by hairy mens wot makes noises. Hokay?
Remeber when you toll me you had dreams of hairy mens that made noises? i can cleerly, dancin to hirotic Muzic you sed they woz, oiled bear chests you sed ???
Grease? Erk! Now I know you is lyin'! That's be like watchin' a greasy pig shimmy. You don't harf tork codswallop, Mikey boy. Or is you gettin' YOR dreems mixeded up wiff myne???
"SHARP INTAKE OF BREATH" DEZZIE I IZ FAR FAR REMOVED FROM BEING HOMOSEXUOHELL,, No no no,,what a nassy thought ,,,See you tell me yoor secrets then twist um sayin nassy things like wot you juss did.. :O(
I oney has eyes for Matt Damon. Wiffout grease, please. (He might get away!)
Ha ha ha,,,He looks Slippery enough to me,, he dont need greasing that slippery fish!!!
OOH! Donchoo dare call my Matty a fish!
Ha ha ha! his eyes are too close together for my liking Dezzie!!!
Oh, you have no taste in men at all! If I ever met him, I'd be a complete idiot - simpering like a schoolgirl. No, he must remain a dream...
Ha ha ha,,looking at him Dezzie he'd be simpering like a schoolgirl too :O)